Our conversations tend to be influenced by our thoughts – what we’re thinking and believing about a certain situation or person – and the conclusions we unwittingly draw can be way off the mark.

Sports commentators do this all the time – they have us feeling that we know exactly what is going on in an athlete or a coaches head. But what we’re getting is a filtered, and often incorrect, version through the model of the commentator’s world.

Tennis player Andy Murray once said ‘Commentators like to speculate what someone is thinking at different stages on the court. They have no idea what each individual is thinking.’ (Read more on this in my blog about Elite Communicators)

Interestingly on radio newsreaders also do it by forcing completion in our minds when they are rounding up the news by claiming ‘and now you’re up to date.’

Suspending our commentary can give us more insight into what others are thinking or feeling as well as what more is needed to be discussed, learnt or explored. It can also give you some respite from all those exhausting thoughts that can play havoc with our clarity.

The most satisfying guinea pigs to practice this on is kids. By asking them first what they think about something or someone, or what they would do in a particular situation, you stop filtering the situation through your own values and beliefs and get insight into their often unique and entertaining world.

Suspending your commentary is not only very liberating (it frees you up from always having to have the answers) but it also creates far more of a dialogue along with other options and solutions you may not even have thought of.