A question that is often asked by adults of unsuspecting children is the classic, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” This question tends to bug the @#*! out of me, as it took me about 30 years before I knew what I wanted to do, so how on earth are these little kids meant to know when their primary concern these days is where to get a fidget spinner* from?
Far more effective and useful is if we just ask them questions that encourage them here and now, that focus on the present and not on a future that they can’t even conceive of yet. (“What do you enjoy doing?” could be a nice alternative.)
With our fellow grown ups, I’m pretty sure we can be smarter with our questions too. Instead of the usual, ‘How was the weekend / traffic / weather?’ or ‘How are you going with your targets this month?’ or ‘What’s your five year plan?’ let’s change it up a bit. Consider asking questions such as:
– What would you change today if you could?
– What would make the biggest difference to your day?
– How will you know you’ve had a fulfilling day when you hit the mattress tonight?
– How are you going to take some time out today? (for mindfulness, reflection, exercise, space)
– Who will you connect with today? (face to face, not online)
– What is preoccupying you today?
– How will we look out for each other today? (even just offering to buy the morning coffee can make all the difference)
– How can I help you today?
– Would you like to borrow my fidget spinner today?*
These questions will all help direct us to the present and what it is we’re focusing on today that will make a difference, encourage connection and cohesion, and will have you learn more about where your team is at. And an FYI – fidget spinners are selling like hot cakes, so you’ll need to move fast!
* This latest craze is very cool and not exclusive to kids. I reckon it’s a universal mindfulness tool for staying present and sharpening focus…
(Image from asseenontvandbeyond.com)