“A leader leads by example, not by force.” Sun Tzu
I recently attended an event with various speakers taking to the stage in turn. Sitting near the actual speaker table, I got to see each speaker off stage before and after their turn. This was an eye opener when two of the speakers who had had their moment in the spotlight started to chat and continued to chat throughout the whole of the presentation by the next speaker.
I found seeing this totally erased everything I had been inspired about them during their speeches, as I saw them in a whole other, disrespecting and distracting, light. It was a powerful ‘but’ moment – that time when someone praises or motivates you then follows it with a ‘but.’
It also highlighted how dangerous it can be to be oblivious in those moments when you are being noticed. And at work, we will always be noticed. Every sigh, eye roll, slump, teeth grit, and particularly every time we are not walking the talk. A lifeguard who goes swimming in dangerous rips shouldn’t be surprised if no-one takes heed of the ‘Beach Closed’ signs.
Leaders are walking, talking examples, whether they like it or not. It’s worth thinking about the example you want to set, and then the question whether or not you are doing it wholeheartedly. If not, think about how you can make it more authentic to you. And if you don’t want to be an example, then you need to drop your expectations in turn.